Posts filed under 'Religion'

Scientology – More or less crazy than other religions?

I have been working on this post for a few days, the unfortunate timing with the death of John Travolta’s son is purely coincidental; I don’t think the fact he’s a Scientologist had anything to do with it.

Recently, during a discussion amongst a few people, someone asked me how utterly bizarre the beliefs of Scientologists are, in comparison with more traditional faiths. My answer surprised them – I don’t believe that Scientologists are any more or less crazy than Christians, Muslims, Jews, Sikhs or any other supernatural belief systems. They countered that surely the whole Xenu / Body Thetan / Space opera basis of L Ron Hubbard’s religion is much more unbelievable than older, more widely held faiths? Not really.

Consider this: Scientology has evil overlords; spaceships shaped like DC-8 aircraft; and timelines many times older than the universe. That all sounds batshit crazy to most people, doesn’t it?

But then again, Judaism has: people surviving after being swallowed by a fish; bushes that talk, while on fire no less; and the sun standing still to Joshua could finish a battle. Not to mention the multitude of genocides, atrocities and general unpleasantness. That also sounds batshit crazy to me.

But wait: Christians not only have that, but also have raising several dead people back to life; casting demons into pigs (doesn’t sound kosher to me); not to mention the big one – dying after being nailed to some wood, then coming back to life. Yet more batshit craziness.

Still, Muslims are surely past all that old rubbish? Not quite: Mohammed goes for a joyride with the angel Gabriel; splitting the Moon in half (no-one else on the planet noticed, however); oh, and let’s not mention the whole having sex with a 9 year old girl episode, best sweep that under the rug or come up with some silly idea of kids maturing earlier in those days.

I could go on, but I hope you see my point. All religions, both ancient and modern, are batshit crazy – they have to be almost by definition. Naturally, if you happen to believe in one particular strain of nuttiness, then yours makes perfect sense, whilst the others are obviously suffering from a bat / belfry combination.

I just choose to think they’re all off their chump. Seems like a logical conclusion to me, and millions of others.

But Xenu made me say that.

January 3rd, 2009

Bye-bye Blasphemy Law

Finally, several hundred years late, the Law Lords have finally abolished the UK’s Blasphemy law, finally making it legal for me to say:

“Jesus regularly enjoyed being gang-buggered by leprous hermaphrodite sheep molesters”

However, it would probably be wrong of me to say:

“Mohammed liked fucking 9 year old girls, even after marrying them

So I won’t. Even though the second statement is true. Isn’t religion queer?

Expected response:



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March 8th, 2008

Those crazy Sudanese Muslims

So, after allowing the children in her class to name their teddy bear ‘Mohammed’, teacher Gillian Gibbons is to be jailed for 15 days for insulting religion. The school’s director, one Robert Boulos told the AP news agency this classic piece of arse-covering verbiage:

“It’s a very fair verdict, she could have had six months and lashes and a fine, and she only got 15 days and deportation.”

Oh, that’s alright then!

Naturally, the irony is that by sentencing a hard-working committed teacher over such a trivial matter, they have done far more to insult Islam, and once more cemented the idea that Muslims are, on the whole, well, really touchy.

However, now you too can own your very own Mo-Bear as listed on Ebay, so get bidding!

Just remember, this bear isn’t named after the Prophet Mohammed, the illiterate camel salesman with a penchant for pre-pubescent girls and killing men, women and children. No, not the Mohammed who heard voices from invisible pixies, murdered indiscriminately and some of whose followers also have a fondness for blowing shit up, usually themselves and anyone around them.

No, not that Mohammed.

That would be an insult to teddy bears!


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1 comment November 30th, 2007


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